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It helped I quickly realised, that there was life after 50. He took me along to some of their events and it was beautifully reassuring that life and sex did not end for the older, gay man.Īt any age on the scene, you may just have to dig a little deeper. My recollection is that it was called the “Swan Club”. Vern, in fact, belonged to a club for men looking for the very mature male. To my surprise, he liked older men, too, but in their 70s. I was so worried my rejection would affect the friendship. My husband was overseas, and it was not long before Vern dropped the question, “What kind of men do you like?” It was obvious I liked older men, but I was in love with my fella. When I moved to the US with my partner in my early twenties, I came across a man called Vern Magnusson a handsome, all-American rancher, who was in his early forties. Now, they would be simply labelled as paedophiles. Back then, they were called chicken hawks. Perhaps my own personal fear of dating, somehow, subconsciously kicked in as I got older owing to the vast amounts of propaganda that I was fed by the chicken hawks in my teens.īopping away at a pop star’s home at 16, I remember one of his friends telling me to “Lap all the fun up, no one wants you when you’re over 21!” Nothing could actually be further from the truth, but many young men on the scene are told this. I was in a relationship for 18 years beginning in my early twenties and had a great pseudo-partner at the start of my 50s that seemed to fill in all the gaps, except the hugs, but then he moved to sunnier climes. But how can you enter into a relationship that should be based on honesty and trust, if it begins with a lie? Somehow, the act of dating had escaped me for almost seven years, but I really do not feel that I need a paper bag on my head. Some friends say you should lie about your age and that everyone does it. He suddenly remembered he had someone, who no doubt had a cold sore, but would still be preferable to flirt with. I thought, “Gosh, it is my night! He’s great!” But, it was not long into flirting and conversation that THE question came up…”How old are you?” Now, I do not lie about my age, nor do I bring the subject up, as I know that in so many social circles it can lead to offence. To my surprise, within a minute, a cute guy walked straight up to me and planted a kiss on my lips. Really, I was not aware of the age thing until I went to G-A-Y Bar in Old Compton Street with some friends where, ironically, they were playing music from the 80s. There is the added point that I am fortunate enough to get invited to a fair few glitzy events, though they are more about networking than matchmaking.
#Why am i gay and single free#
Plus, my priorities with my free time have changed. Bars are no longer high on my list. It is more due to the fact that I do not have the time and that London has become so diverse that the hardcore, gay bars are no longer necessarily the safe haven they were in the 80s and 90s.
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I always envisioned myself with a blue rinse, fan dancing with the best of them at a rave in my 80s. I am not often “on the scene”, but this is not because I am 57 and feel out of place. So let’s talk about ageing, dating and being a single, gay man in London.Īge is just a number, or so we are led to believe.
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![why am i gay and single why am i gay and single](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/52/97/bd/5297bd983ecb34179dd0bacd54e2a192.png)
So, what is it like as you head into your late fifties, you are single and looking to date? I’ve been single for seven years and turned 57 this year. The notoriously ageist LGBQ scene can be a cruel place for many gay people as they age. As the famous Tessa O’Shea sang, no-one loves a fairy when she’s forty